


Proposal

by chibinocho



Category: Arden St. Ives Series - Alexis Hall
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Domestic Bliss, Fluff and Smut, Light BDSM, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Rings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trust Issues, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibinocho/pseuds/chibinocho
Summary: Caspian believes it's time to make Arden completely his but like everything in his life, he needs it to be perfect.
Relationships: Caspian Hart/Arden St. Ives
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> I blitzed this trilogy in seven hours and adored it so much. The characterisation, the angst, the romance. It's all the good things. It also needs far more fanfiction love ...
> 
> Although for some reason I gravitated to writing from Caspian's perspective, hope I have managed to do him a smidgeon of justice ...

I had told Arden that I would lay my kingdom at his feet and apparently the most valuable part of that kingdom to him was a small, unassuming house in Notting Hill. From the day he moved in, with his entire worldly possessions packed into the boot of one car, he was determined to create a home for the both of us and a place I would want to return to. It had seemed such a wild thought to me at the time. I had not had a home since I was eighteen. When one travelled so much and spent so long at the office, it seemed ridiculous to try to maintain a house, which would simply gather dust. The nearest thing I supposed I could call a permanent residence was the penthouse next to my office - it was certainly the place I had the most personal items including the box of my father’s books. I had had no interest in a ‘home’.

Therefore it was a testament to the tenacity and charisma of Arden St Ives that those books had now been removed from my apartment and were now proudly displayed in a bespoke wooden bookcase in the sitting room.

And the longer I spent with him, the more realised I was happy. Naturally I hadn’t managed to fully reconcile myself fully to accepting this newer version of Caspian Hart but Arden was endlessly patient. He waited, accepted and loved without question, whether that was sitting together on our sofa curled up close; bent over our bed with his arms bound and moaning my name; sat together on the sofa where he made me laugh or simply on my arm at whatever social function demanded my presence, he would be there. I had never felt so protected and cherished.

And after a year of this, I found I still wanted more. I wanted to show the world more fully that he was mine and mine alone. I wanted the world to see a ring on his finger and know that I had put it there. And I could not face the thought of a proposal like the one I had offered Nathaniel. It had been nothing like a proposal, it had been more of a business discussion with a mutually agreed strategy and outcome. The coldness of it even now made me feel ashamed of how I thought it could fix things; fix me and how it had given Nathaniel such false hope for us. I hadn’t seen him since and wished I regretted that more. 

But proposing to Arden would be nothing of the sort. He was a romantic. A passionate, hedonistic, incorrigible romantic. He had made me watch Moulin Rouge with him a month ago and I had been left breathless by his total submersion into the colour, music-filled fantasy world of love and romance. I had known then that I wanted to give that to him. I thought - and admit that I researched - and even took the ridiculous step of contacting Bellerose about it. Bellerose was no longer in my employ - by our mutual agreement - but he still maintained contact with Arden and appeared to be happy to offer advice. I thought about exclusive intimate restaurants, secret clubs, elaborate grand parties, landmarks in foreign countries and outrageous public displays. But none of these options suited either myself or the person I knew Arden to be. And this had to be correct. 

In the end - with Bellerose’s coolly distant approval - I decided to do it at home. At the home we were building together. Originally it had been a spur of the moment decision - something I don’t recall ever making before Arden arrived into my life - to give Arden one of my most sentimental possessions. However, I had never regretted it. I could have given Arden any amount of properties and residences in nearly any country on earth but in the end all he wanted was a part of me. And this small house, tucked away on its cobbled street was enough for him and he had worked tirelessly to turn it into a place where not only I knew he would be happy and safe but where I genuinely wanted to return to.

Even if only for Arden and his ever-increasingly creative ways in the bedroom, which still left me breathless with desire.

However, unlike Arden who was intent on doing nearly all the work on the house himself - aside from the work which by either necessity, qualification or his own personal safety required a profession as I really didn’t want to see my lover’s attempt at plumbing - I was most certainly not going to even attempt to do this particular task myself. It required far too much skill to get right and it had to be perfect, I would settle for nothing less. I never had. I did however talk in detail to the garden designers about what I required, and needed to happen within the design, and spent so long deliberating over arrangements that I missed a conference call with Dubai in the process, that required an extensive and exceedingly personal apology afterwards.

Such was the effect Arden St Ives had on me. I was still just as intoxicated as I had been from the moment I answered that phone, heard his voice and imagined his smile.

On some level I still could not fathom that he was fully mine and had no intentions of leaving me, no matter my desires, past and intentions. It had taken me a long time to realise but he had been this way all along. He wanted to accept every part of me, understand me and only wanted the same treatment for himself. He wanted to help me with my past and my beliefs about myself and I pushed him back, held him away even whilst I desired him and wanted him close. And yet he still returned and tried so hard to support the decision with Nathaniel that nearly broke us all. Even then he fought to protect me from harm, even when I had shown him nothing but rejection and devalued him. Even the thought of him suffering through that rejection even now left me cold even as that faded scar on his shoulder still gave me some pain to see. No matter how much attention I lavished on it.

When I had first met him in person and he had gone to his knees for me so sweetly innocent, all I had seen was that string of fragile, faceless partners I had hurt and broken. I wanted to hurt Arden too. I wanted him in tears, hurting and begging for me to stop. It had horrified me, to see my thought-repressed urges thrown so fully in my face but I couldn't fight the desire to have him. Although - gloriously depraved little thing he was - Arden wanted those desires too. He wanted me to hurt him and wailed so beautifully when I did, begging so sweetly for my attention, twisting his agile body into my hands. Bending deliciously to my will but never breaking. Even when I fucked into him, lost control and bit down on that shoulder, he still cried out in bliss and shuddered under me. For me. 

Arden's easy acceptance of my desires and tastes were becoming an increasing joy for both of us. He trusted me and I was beginning to trust him with the darker desires that had been turned into something so degrading and hurtful. In our shared bed - that we were increasingly sharing now which was another moment of hidden pride for myself that I was increasingly able to sleep most of the night alongside him - Arden St Ives had taken my dangerous desires, my monstrous urges and had simply remoulded them into something special to both of us. The ghost of Lancaster Steyne's influence was exorcised a little more each time I tied Arden down, spanked him, gagged him, used him and he begged for more, revelling in it and loved me for it.

Lancaster Steyne tried to create a monster.

Nathaniel Priest tried to create a saint.

Arden St Ives hadn't created anything, only seen a man with all his flaws but also his strengths and wanted him anyway.

Why wouldn't I want to give him everything?

Which is why I had planned tonight so carefully. This had to be successful.

By some fortunate circumstance, I did not have to work too hard to create a diversion that day. Arden was out with Eleanor - Ellery - for most of the day. She had dragged him shopping in Brick Lane and Camden Town, before insisting he went to a matinee concert with her. The concert was Joshua Bell playing to an intimate theatre on an invitation only basis and I had been given complimentary tickets after some particularly interesting reinvestments. At Arden’s insistence I had offered them to Ellery a week ago - via message of course, peace offerings between us never worked between in person - and she had sulkily accepted them with poor grace and insisted that she would only go if Arden came too. I felt my anger rise at her rudeness and demands, as it always did reading her reply but Arden’s cheery and blindingly bright laugh sounded near my ear. He then crawled onto my lap like a cat as we lay together on our sofa late one night, nudging past my reading of Global Finance.

I loved it when he did that. So trusting and affectionate. My beautiful Arden, all light to my darkness. I threaded my fingers through his hair and tugged a little, keeping up the charade of being annoyed.

“It’s just the way she is. She’s really excited.” Arden waved his phone in my face, which had flashed with the message ‘wanna go to some concert thing?’. He wriggled his hips happily, trying to pull his head away so I would hold tighter and I forgot everything but him.

So that’s where they were and that gave me time enough to finalise arrangements, authorise the designers and collect the necessary items.

And so it was finished. I made several calls from the house, moving around appointments and communications to ensure I could be free the next day but otherwise I felt a little out of place and at a loss. Without Arden in the house it still felt surreal to be in this place alone and I wasn't sure what to do aside from wait for him. I climbed up to the bedroom, seeing that it was tidy again, no doubt courtesy of the housekeeper I had insisted upon and the only thing out of place was a book on Arden's bedside table. I picked it up and saw he was reading Le Guin's Earthsea series complete with a very glittery bookmark that left my fingertips dotted with pink pinpricks of light. My heart pulsed with memories of my father and I was touched that Arden was making his way through the books I loved as a child. One of his greatest pleasures was discussing literature and culture and I loved listening to him. I wanted to listen forever.

My nerves were getting to me and I admit I was becoming increasingly anxious, checking messages sporadically. I went up to the terrace to wait, still having a slight thrill over what awaited my lover but lit a cigarette anyway and with hands that most certainly were not shaking. I had been smoking less recently without even noticing and idly wondered if it was because I was more content now. 

I leant over the balcony, trying to let the smoke carry off on the wind and was nervous but grateful to see the familiar Maybach pull up over cobbles. Arden had finally acquiesced to my one unrelenting request to stay safe and was using the car regularly now, realising how important it was to me that I knew he could always get home and would be safe. I couldn't help but smile as he pulled two enormous bags out of the car and hung through the passenger window to talk to the driver. He knew all the drivers on a first name basis now and I could hear his bell-like laugh carry up. He had such an ease with and love of people that I admired and felt just a little envious of.

I heard the front door close and the excited clatter of bags, coat and shoes below.

"Caspian?" Came the call. I had already told him I would be home before him.

"Terrace." I answered loudly. "Would you care to join me?" How ridiculously cliched I sounded.

There was an excited laugh that came nearer as Arden came clattering up the stairs.

"Hang on! I am going to get dressed first. I want to show you what I got today. Beyond Retro is beyond a-maz-ing!" 

I clenched my hands. He was so frustrating. I had never had to even think about waiting for anyone until him.

"I take it you enjoyed your day?"

Rustles of clothing were down below, I fought not to envisage Arden stripping naked as I did not want to do this with an erection.

"Oh god, so good, I thought Ellery was actually going to cry in that concert. She kept grabbing my hand." His laugh was musical and happy and I pushed away the slight flash of jealousy. It had taken me a long time to accept Arden's need for physical contact but he constantly reassured me even when I didn't know I needed reassuring.

Feet then clattered up the stairs and Arden opened the door to the roof terrace and was illuminated by the lighting below which gave him an ethereal quality with his tousled hair and shining smile. I noticed he was wearing a new velvet blazer in the plum shade he so loved but this one had silver brocade and embroidery across the collar. Underneath was a floral shirt in a riot of colours, which fitted so tightly to his body I could see his nipple jewellery pushing against the fabric. I did not recognise the shape and it sent a wave of arousal through me to think about finding out. That and Arden's slim legs were tightly encased in shimmering, dark silver trousers that clung to every inch of his lean body like mercury, leaving nothing to the imagination was also causing me some difficulty.

I was now hard, and my hands twitched to pull him close, to touch him through those trousers until he begged me to take him.

"What do you think?" He struck a pose and went to twirl around then stopped mid twirl and stared in shock.

"What … what is this?"

I had to admit the designers had done their work well. The roof terrace garden was lit by strings of warm yellow festoon lights and awash with colourful plants in pots and climbing plants weaving through the high rails. Artificial grass had been laid down alongside polished wood decking as a form of flooring and the old furniture had been replaced with a new outdoor daybed with a canopy, a low table and a swing chair. A storage bench also held duvets and pillows and there was a heater taking the chill from the Autumn air, it's gas-lit flames flickering gently in the breeze. Everything was exactly as I requested and yet under his stunned gaze, I wondered if I had actually ruined this by taking control again.

Arden still wasn't saying anything, just staring around him mystified and I was convincing myself with an awful thought that he hated it. After all, he had wanted to improve the house together, would this feel more like a dismissal of his wishes than a gesture? I could feel the unfamiliar cold sensation of losing control and loathed it.

"It's for you …" my voice caught. "I did say I would spoil you terribly."

Arden turned back to me, his expression stunned.

"You did this?" He asked incredulously. I could feel my face heat. I knew how much empty gestures infuriated him but I was determined to see this through.

"No, I'm afraid I hired professionals to carry out the work and source the necessary items … but the design and choices were my own. Do … you like it?" How could this man reduce me to stuttering like a lunatic over a garden for goodness sake? 

And then my arms were full of Arden. Arden's arms, his lips, his body all against me and every nerve caught fire. We kissed deeply and my hands went instinctively under his jacket, feeling the slippery silk of his new shirt and feeling just how close-fitting those trousers were. I could feel every twitch of his backside against my hands and his hardening prick against my own.

"It's so fucking magical." Arden said, his voice even cracking a little and his eyes glassy. "It's like a secret garden up here!" He jumped away and roamed around the small space, exclaiming at the plants and furniture, running his fingers along the lights. I smiled at his pleasure but I could not move, rooted to the spot. He then turned to me, obviously reading my stiffness.

"Why this now?"

There it was. The opening I didn't even realise I would actually need to do this. I gently moved him away from me.

"I told you once it was too early for my hand in marriage but that I you had my heart and my kingdom at your feet." My palms were hot and moist, this was humiliating. I had held meetings with royalty and Presidents of entire countries, moved fortunes larger than the GDP of most countries and yet the thought of asking something like this of my diminutive, sparkling Arden was leaving me terrified. But I still sank to my knees. Not even one knee as I had so wanted to do ... but both... "But now, I want to give you even more than that. My Arden, would you consider giving yourself to me … forever?"   
There was a single moment of silence as if Arden was uncomprehending. His lovely velvet brown eyes were perfect circles of shock. I could feel the shake in his hand and a cold feeling washed down my spine.

I then reached into my pocket and held out the box I had carried with me for two days now, opening it and offering it to him. Inside nestled two rings resting against each other in plum velvet that I had spent so long deliberating over with the designer. Two simple platinum bands, each with a channel of gemstones embedded within. The larger of the two was simply a string of bright, white sparkling diamonds with one single dark pink sapphire - the exact shade of Arden's lips - breaking the loop in a kiss of colour. It was tasteful, understated and restrained although far more showy than any other jewellery I possessed. The smaller of the two was identical in style and shape except the gemstones set in the band were every possible colour set in a rainbow spectrum, from a pink sapphire - a twin to my own - to yellow diamonds. It was unusual, riotous, bright and so very, very Arden. The jeweller had sent me the design - along with my own - and I had immediately known it should grace Arden's hand.

And yet he was shaking. My beautiful boy was quaking as if he was going to collapse. Tears formed in his eyes and he began to sob. It was a knife to my heart and nausea rose within me.

“Arden? Oh my Arden, please. You don’t have to say anything.” I needed to solve this. I needed to make it right. He wasn’t ready. I went to put the box away. “I am assuming this is far too soon. I should have thought … I …” 

Arden then lunged forward like a man possessed and snatched the box from me.

“Don’t you fucking dare stop this moment.” He squeaked, snatching the box and clutching it to his chest. Tears were falling freely now and he was sobbing “I’m happy, you bastard. So happy!” 

He shook and cried for so long that I began to worry. My beautiful lover, entirely undone by a proposal. When Nathaniel and I had discussed engagement it had been a calm rational agreement, something which really should not have made either of us happy. But was Arden actually happy with this? Insecurities and anxieties rose up in me again like a wave.

"I do not want to pressure you, Arden but I am at your mercy and what you are doing to me is a very specific form of torture that I am finding unbearable. Please would you give me a more direct answer?"

He then threw himself at me again, falling to his own knees in an assault of kisses and tears.

“Yes, oh god Caspian, you idiot. I want nothing more than to marry you.” His voice was choked and fresh tears slipped down his cheeks. I ran my hands through his hair. "I just didn't think … didn't think you would ever want to … you know, with me. I'm not exactly a trophy catch or marriageable material."

It was truly maddening how Arden became so self-deprecating sometimes. How on earth could he be so confident and carefree but still believe he had so little value?

"It's an honour to want to marry you. Don't you dare imply that you are any less than perfect." I could feel my voice betraying my frustrations and anger, even as my hand clutched a little too tightly in his hair. "Please Arden."

Arden's wet eyes were wide, with pupils blown wide. He was stunning.

"Yes, Mr Hart." And his yielding voice felt like electricity running through me. He said no more, only re-opened the ring box and extracted both the rings, sliding first his own on and then raising my own hand. He moved the ring over my knuckle and traced his tongue down, following the ring's descent before enveloping the whole finger in the wet heat of his perfect mouth. He pulled away with an obscene sound, nipping the tip of my ring finger with his teeth.

"Yes, my Caspian." He whispered.

And I was undone.

I couldn't help it, I pulled him to his feet and lifted him bodily into my arms, attacking his mouth with my own. He wrapped his legs around my waist and I held him there, tight against my arousal but just wanting the feeling of his lithe body against my own.

Mine. My Arden. Completely and totally my own.

"Mine."

"Yours forever." 


End file.
